One of the backend integration projects in which I was involved went live. In the initial phase there were quite a few issues reported and we were troubleshooting the entire flow of data section by section. The conference call to sort this out was going on for a couple of hours and we had the Accounts Team, Client managers, Technical Team, a few business analysts and consultants dialed-in on the call.
The data flow is business-critical and as every hour passes through the client was losing a significant amount business. Everyone were putting their best effort to get it fixed as soon as possible. Ron, who was the technical lead for a section, was discussing details of an incorrect XML encoding with me. I was explaining him the probable cause and everyone on the call were listening carefully.
And that is when I felt a pair of hands fall heavily on my shoulders interrupting the conversation.
'Kya chal raha hai? (What's going on?)' Bakshi cleaned his pan soaked hands on my pale blue shirt.
I got up to pull his hands and throw him on to the floor far away from me.
'Nahi Nahi!! Baitke batao. (No no!! Sit and talk.)' He pushed me down on my shoulders back into the chair. Shameful, I thought, the asshole thinks I tried to stand up to show him my respect.
'There are some issues with the integration. Ron and I are trying to figure out the cause.' I replied and put the reciever back onto my left ear.
Bakshi pulled the phone towards him and switched the speaker on. He yelled 'See guys, if you have trouble with any of the integration work it's none of our business. We have nothing to do with it as everything has been delivered as per the requirements and Alex cannot waste anymore of his time on it.' That was just the beginnning. Bakshi was explaining his resource allocation problem to everyone on the call and there were people shouting back in the call to calm him down.
'Alex! Alex! Are you there?' One of the client managers shouted.
'Yes, I am here.' I shouted back into the phone.
'We have delivered whatever we have been supposed to deliver. Whatever comes after that is your problem. We cannot take up any responsibilities as everything has been specced and designed by some one else and that has nothing to do with us.' Bakshi's sound overcame all the noise on the call.
A chat window of Ron poped-up on my screen.
'Who the fuck is this guy? Who is shouting on the call?'
'He is my WRSC manager.' I typed back.
'Ask him to shut the fuck up. This is very critical. We need to sort it it as soon as possible.'
'Why should only I suffer always? It's now time for you guys to enjoy.' I replied to Ron.
'Tell him now, or I'm gonna rip him apart the next time I come to your London Bridge office.'
'I would buy you a bottle of Blue Label if you would do that. Please!!!'
'WHO IS THIS?' A heavy male voice on the call silenced everyone yelling on the phone.
'This is Bakshi, Resource manager from WRSC.'
'Mr. Bakshi, this is James Lambert, Accounts Manager for UK Division. I understand your concern but this is not the forum to address it. We have a critical issue and we're losing business. Please drop me an email with the details and I will get back to you.'
'Thank you James. I will send the email right away.' Bakshi winked at me 'See this is how you deal with things.' and walked out through the door.
'Alex! Are you there?'
'Yes, James.'
'Could you please continue?'
'Yes James, Thank you. Ron are you there?... Ron!! Ron???'
'Yeah Yeah!! I found an iron pipe and I was heating it up.' Ron was shouting at the phone from a distance.
'What?'
'Alex, I thought I had to come down to London Bridge to fix your manager.'
Everyone in the call burst into laughter.
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